Friday, July 15, 2016

Thief of Joy

Being a parent to a high-energy, high on life boy, is not easy at times. His energy can aid in him being on-point with things that he is learning or it can be a distraction. A distraction for him and for others around him. For the longest time, I found myself comparing him to other kids his age. Comparing how he responds to things, how he reacts to things and how he retains things. Society doesn't help with these comparisons either, but that is another blog post.

As a parent, we want the best for our kid(s). We have high expectations for our children, usually higher expectations than what we, as adults, can demonstrate. Which doesn't make sense if you really think about it. Children learn by following an example, by seeing how one should act or speak. Not by being told what to say or how to function. Children (and some adults) struggle with intense emotions and no matter what guidance they receive to help them through something, at times it feels like nothing is sinking in. They need to work things out, they need to grow into who they are becoming. They need to do this with the help from patient, compassionate and reasonable adults. We are forever changing and evolving. Learning doesn't have a specific time line, it doesn't have a specific speed and it doesn't look a specific way. I am 37 years old and I am learning something new and how to better control my actions, every. day.

One of the things (out of many) that I am trying to work on, and probably will be working on for the rest of my days, is not to compare our child to other children. If I continue to do this, if parents continue to do this - constantly comparing - we will be easily discouraged. We will miss out on moments our children are creating. We will miss out on moments of THEIR life, OUR life - together.

There is no rush to get through this life. We are given each day to enjoy what we are blessed with. The good and the "bad". The peaceful moments and the hectic. Our children are born with love in their hearts and fire in their souls. They are always learning, they are always progressing and they are doing it at their own pace.

So, I can live my days criticizing, and categorizing our child or I can be a part of his life, his joy and enjoy the days we have with him. I love this boy more than words can express and I would rather not have the joy stolen from our life.

I will be more conscious on how I view things, how I view him and how he see's me view him.

 "Comparison is the thief of joy" 

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