Thief of Joy

Being a parent to a high-energy, high on life boy, is not easy at times. His energy can aid in him being on-point with things that he is learning or it can be a distraction. A distraction for him and for others around him. For the longest time, I found myself comparing him to other kids his age. Comparing how he responds to things, how he reacts to things and how he retains things. Society doesn't help with these comparisons either, but that is another blog post.

As a parent, we want the best for our kid(s). We have high expectations for our children, usually higher expectations than what we, as adults, can demonstrate. Which doesn't make sense if you really think about it. Children learn by following an example, by seeing how one should act or speak. Not by being told what to say or how to function. Children (and some adults) struggle with intense emotions and no matter what guidance they receive to help them through something, at times it feels like nothing is sinking in. They need to work things out, they need to grow into who they are becoming. They need to do this with the help from patient, compassionate and reasonable adults. We are forever changing and evolving. Learning doesn't have a specific time line, it doesn't have a specific speed and it doesn't look a specific way. I am 37 years old and I am learning something new and how to better control my actions, every. day.

One of the things (out of many) that I am trying to work on, and probably will be working on for the rest of my days, is not to compare our child to other children. If I continue to do this, if parents continue to do this - constantly comparing - we will be easily discouraged. We will miss out on moments our children are creating. We will miss out on moments of THEIR life, OUR life - together.

There is no rush to get through this life. We are given each day to enjoy what we are blessed with. The good and the "bad". The peaceful moments and the hectic. Our children are born with love in their hearts and fire in their souls. They are always learning, they are always progressing and they are doing it at their own pace.

So, I can live my days criticizing, and categorizing our child or I can be a part of his life, his joy and enjoy the days we have with him. I love this boy more than words can express and I would rather not have the joy stolen from our life.

I will be more conscious on how I view things, how I view him and how he see's me view him.

 "Comparison is the thief of joy" 

Filling your mind.

Last night my Husband and I had a 2.5 hour conversation about the things that are going on in this world (WITHIN OUR OWN COUNTRY), the things media shares and the how most choose to respond. Whether it be through their own opinionated post on social media pages or how they choose conduct themselves in everyday life.

I came across a Instagram page labeled @elmxst "Las Vegan Nevada". They chose to fill their -about me section- with these words: "Living is easy with eyes closed misunderstanding all you see."

Their page has posted 1447 times & has 52.9K followers.

I scrolled through their post, mainly their videos. It was filled with; people on drugs, prostitution, couples beating each other up over the other cheating, people attacking one another over reckless driving, people attacking one another over harsh exchange of words, people attacking each other in the streets, people resisting arrest, children fighting children in school, children attacking teachers, parents cheering on their child to beat up another, inappropriate/disrespectful dancing, people steeling and so on.

I couldn't put into words how heavy I felt after seeing just a few clips. I am still having a hard time describing it. The last time I was this overwhelmed and this heavy-hearted with the way some people choose to act, was when our family started doing research on the food industry. What some people chose to do for money literally made/makes me sick. The brutality towards an innocent life, the torture these lives endure just to put food on plates for a few seconds. The "joy" some of these people displayed tormenting these lives and All to fulfill a craving for those consuming! All to line their pockets with blood money. Disgusting - on all accounts (consumer and abuser).

After watching the videos on the @elmxst page (and there are many more pages like that), I said to my husband, I don't understand where all of this brutal hate comes from. The amount of anger some people hold inside them is terrifying. Why do some choose to embrace this way of life. Why is there so much ANGER?! Why do they choose to attack or destroy first instead of "working together"?

I told him, watching those videos - people attacking people - people attacking animals - I experienced such a darkness inside. I told him; "I can see how some people grab on to anger, if this is what they fill their mind with, if this what they fill their days with."

Over the years, Watching (or listening) to the things the Media chooses to display (always more negative over positive), I can see why most people feel heavy, feel animosity. By watching these clips on social media, some people think they know all, they have seen all and they think they can break down and justify the actions in a video sitting behind a screen. They then carry this animosity around with them throughout their day. Animosity that allows them to miss out on moments to connect with one another. Moments to help one another or moments to be helped by another.

I asked Derek; "What are these people missing? Why is it so hard for these people to get their act together?"

He says: "They are missing love, there is no love within their heart."

That immediately brought tears to my eyes.

Entitlement, anger, fear, wanting more, living life through media, living without self regulation, living without accountability, living without respect of oneself or another life..... is suffocating the way of life. I'm not sure why one would want to continue to live with that heaviness within their heart. I can't tell others how to act or what to say, but I can tell you what I am going to try to do. . .

I am going to live MY life respecting life (human and animal). I am going to smile at strangers, no matter what race, religion or gender. I am going to help those in need however I can, no matter what race, religion, gender or species. I am going to respect myself and those that surround me. I am going to hold myself accountable for MY actions and adjust things where need be. I am going to live my days setting a positive example (through action and words) for our son and the younger generation. I am going to live my life lead by faith.

I am not going to let media fill my day or construe my way of thinking about this world and the people in it. I am not going to make quick decisions from or about someones comment or video I come across, I am going to try to see it from their point of view and if I can't, I am going to keep my. mouth. shut. as I am not living THEIR life.

I am not going to live in fear and miss out on all the beauty of this world and the people trying to the same. I am not perfect by any means, but I am going to try my hardest to not live with hate in my heart. 

When I started writing this, I had felt anger towards those that are choosing destruction as their answer, those that choose not to see what THEY are supporting or causing by THEIR choices or actions. . . .  

but now I feel sadness towards those choosing not to see, those that fill their mind with ugliness, negativity and those that are destroying the world I live in - they live in - ((((WE))) live in by not taking steps to make BETTER decisions - for ALL LIFE!